Adorable, even if the storyline is a little erm... cliche. But it's the execution that makes it special. ^^
One thing though, you might want to be careful about spelling. Especially characters' name. It's Kairi, not Kari. ^^;; And there're still a couple grammatical mistakes sprinkled here and there. Like the first para (italics are what I've changed):
The sea was gently kissing the sandy beach with each roll of the wave. Every now and then,(add here) the water was pushed further up like it was trying to reach the palm tree, whose bended trunk was a(this should be deleted) perfect to sit upon and which with its background of green,(add here) looked like something that was printed on the postcards.
Erm... hope you're not mad for being a busybody. ^^;; And delete this before your beta/friend sess this, okay? ^^;; And in the event she sees it, please tell her that I'm not doing this to irk her and that well... I apologize if I offend any of you. ^^;;
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-02-14 02:24 pm (UTC)One thing though, you might want to be careful about spelling. Especially characters' name. It's Kairi, not Kari. ^^;; And there're still a couple grammatical mistakes sprinkled here and there. Like the first para (italics are what I've changed):
The sea was gently kissing the sandy beach with each roll of the wave. Every now and then,(add here) the water was pushed further up like it was trying to reach the palm tree, whose bended trunk was a(this should be deleted) perfect to sit upon and which with its background of green,(add here) looked like something that was printed on the postcards.
Erm... hope you're not mad for being a busybody. ^^;; And delete this before your beta/friend sess this, okay? ^^;; And in the event she sees it, please tell her that I'm not doing this to irk her and that well... I apologize if I offend any of you. ^^;;